Dear Baby,

Hey little blog baby. Well, it's me. Your dad. If you're reading this letter, congratulations! It means I finally decided that I love you. I know I haven't been around that much since you were born. I know I spent so much money on fresh kicks and Neil Diamond tickets that you had to go to school wearing a barrel with suspenders attached and eat one bean with a knife and fork. I'm really sorry about that. I left most of the parenting up to your mom, and she did a great job. She's a great lady, your mom. But I just want you to know, baby, from the bottom of my heart, that taking care of a baby is women's work. Do I look like a woman to you? I know you don't know, because you're a baby, and also you're a blog so you don't technically have eyeballs or consciousness. But I'm all man. And now I'm ready to man up and make you, my baby blog, #3 on my priority list. Right below Fantasy Football and Jessica Alba's butt. And pizza. So #4. You'll always be my #4, baby. Never forget that.

Love,
Your dad,
Ronald Himmelhaver