Sunday, September 14, 2008

Sometimes it's the simplest things that I love the most

I just found the best fucking thing ever on Etsy:

Salt-n-Pepa shakers. God bless us, every one.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Monday, September 8, 2008

Special Guest Blogger: Rudy Giuliani

Hey, did you guys catch my speech at the RNC last week? Man, I sure laid in to Barack Obama. What an elitist that guy is—Harvard and Columbia educated, successful author of two memoirs. Not like me, Rudolph W. Giuliani, America's Mayor and just an average joe. For example, you might not have heard of the small town that I grew up in. It's a little hamlet called Brooklyn. Haven't heard of it? I'm not surprised. It's a little off the beaten path, if you know what I mean!

That Obama, what a snob! He's so metropolitan. I, on the other hand, know what it's like to represent small town American values. For eight years, I was mayor of a small, rural township called New York City. So much of what I love and respect about conservative values comes from my time as mayor of this tiny village. I'm sure the East coast elitists will deride that experience, but my leadership sure meant a lot to the townsfolk of New York City!

Can you believe what Obama said about working class people being bitter and clinging to religion? The pretense! I cherish and value all religions, which is why I spend so much time with devout Christians like Donald Trump. I know how much conservatives value marriage, which is why I have been married three times, once to my own first cousin! It don't get much more down home than that, friends.

Obama is nothing but a celebrity senator. He's all style and no substance. He has no idea how to lead with integrity, unlike Republican Senator Fred Thompson, late Republican Congressman Sonny Bono, Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, and of course, my hero: President Ronald Reagan.

McCain/Palin '08!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Whether Large or Small

From Lindy:

"I was picking up some Chinese food at 50th and the Ave, when a hobo in a red hat started following me. 'Say, girl, you single?' he said. 'Say, girl, you lookin' goooood.' When I ignored him, he followed up with, 'I want to go on a date witchoo. Let me take you out.'"

Hobo. Please. Where are we going to go? Did you get tickets to the garbage fire?

But would it be so bad if the invitation had come from "The Littlest Hobo"?:

I think no.