Why does Bobby Jindal hate high-speed rail so much? You could go from Las Vegas to Disneyland in a metal tube—like hella fast and stuff. Jindal likes to call this "a magnetic levitation line." Imagine! As if this were Tomorrowland or somesuch!
BUT ANYWAY YOU DICKS, it is okay to look into the future occasionally! It's true! Technology is often times helpful and advantageous. And if you hate the future so much, HERE IS YOUR TELEGRAM, SIR. Can I offer you a seat next to the gramophone? YOU DROPPED YOUR EAR TRUMPET, BOBBY JINDAL.
You can't just pick and choose which technology is helpful (internet) and which ones are witchcraft (light bulbs).
Alright, if anyone needs me I'll be snuggling with this robot and killing small vermin with my laser eyeball.